A word from a tired Bridesmaid

In three weeks I am playing bridesmaid for the third time. Once again the initial feeling of incredible honour has been replaced with the downtrodden feeling of a doormat.

If you have been around an anxious bride-to-be you know that it can be a little bit like tiptoeing through a mine field, constantly on edge, unsure of whether the next words out of your mouth are going to unleash a furious storm of rage that will leave you wondering why you ever thought calling her dress "a bit tight" was a good idea in the first place.

I have learned to keep any opinion to myself, unless it is complimentary (albeit a wee bit fake), and to prepare myself for frank and at most times rude criticism of myself. So far in my experience as a BM, it has been brought to my attention that I am a little on the hefty side, have too many freckles, could do with a good hair cut and I am, at times, attention seeking, "no offense".

If I hear one more statement that begins, "no offense, but...." I think I just might resign. Seriously the bride needs to get a grip, unfortunately as excited as we all are about her impending nuptials, we don't give half as much of a shit about the invitations or the table decorations as she does. And, I hate to say it but, I seem to be the only one who still has a grip on what this wedding is about. Or maybe I've missed the point, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe weddings are about 12 months of your life where you can be a forthright and obnoxious bitch who get's her way by the permit of "no offense, but...." .

Ouch.

Forgive me, but here is where I'm coming from. I've known this couple for nearly ten years and they are among my favourite people. I love that they've asked me to join them at their wedding. The thing is though that my mate who I've always had so much fun with and have admired for being practical and down to earth has been replaced by the afore mentioned bitch. This is costing me coin too; a significant amount and I don't even get to go on a holiday at the end of it. Rather I get the pleasure of my ex boyfriend's company though out the wedding (yes he's a groomsman).

Reading back what I've written I can hear your reaction. Pull out; resign graciously, if your heart's not in it.... I can't. I know on the day, when the pressure is off, I'll have my mate back and we will all have a day like no other. I think that I'm penning this as a reminder to myself of what not to become and what not to put my mates through.

I can't wait to share my day with friends and family (clearly - weddings/engagements are a common thread in my blog). The thought that I would subject my friends to feelings of inadequacy and resentment towards me tortures me. I don’t want them to see me that way so I hope that I can loosen the grip on the details and keep a grip on what the marriage actually means to me, regardless if I asked for Ivory yet received off-Shite (that was a typo but I’m leaving it there) table covers.